Sunday, May 10, 2009

Spoiler Trek (Now With 100% More Lens Flare)

So two days ago I saw the new Star Trek film, see? I must admit I was shocked at how much I enjoyed the film. When I first saw the websites utter the word prequel I was scared. When I saw J.J. Abrahms (Creator of the massively shitty Lost and Cloverfield) was directing it I was petrified, but now I can't imagine the day where I sit this film on my DVD shelf (273 movies and counting!).

Here is what I liked:

This was a time travel paradox movie, which already gives me a big thumbs up. I love time travel and love alternate timelines. So this movie appealed to me already.
Secondly, I really enjoyed the acting. Chris Pine did a spectacular Kirk, and I have to cite the scene where he beats the Kobayashi Maru scenario, just non-chalantly sitting there eating an apple while the ship gets hit with torpedo after torpedo... 'Oh wait, enemy shields just disppeared? Oh well fire our torpedos. Good job everyone, pat on the back, lets eat cake.' I laughed hard. If anyone didn't know too, the part about him eating an apple while doing the scenario is a throwback to Star Trek II where in the Genesis Cave, Saavik is speaking to him about his solution to the scenario ,he's eating a apple. He doesn't like to lose... or go hungry. Also the acting of Karl Urban must be brought to the light as his performance as Leonard McCoy was really well done. The inflections did DeForrest Kelley proud. He wore the pants well.
Finally, I must admit the changes to the ship's interior were initially met with skepticism after 15 years of clean engine rooms, but they grew on me. I liked the grungy piping in main engineering, and I liked the darker corridors in the bowels of the ship's shuttlebay.
I also liked the redesign of all the ships and weapons, although the camera angles were so tight and shaky you couldn't tell if anything was effecting an enemie's ship. It was still awesome effects.

Here is what I disliked:

Holy shit. Could you put any more lens flares in each scene? I counted at least 40 or 50 in the first 15 minutes of the film alone. It was the most overuse of an effect I have ever seen.
The bad guy, Nero, was a tool. He seemed to stumble around and talk drunk for most of the film, stopping only to spew chunks of orders all over his followers unsuspecting faces. And his reasoning for his vengeance is pure bullshit. It wasn't Spock's fault the sun exploded and blew up Romulus. It was the fucking sun's fault. Why not, when thrown back in time, go to Romulus and say 'Hey guys. Sun's gonna explode in 2387. Just FYI.' Nah, its cool, I'll just put the parking break on, pop on some re-runs of I Love Lucy and wait 25 years for Spock to show up in his Toyota Jellyfish. Tool.

Well theres my two cents (not adjusted for inflation) on a ten dollar movie. Hope you enjoyed this South Passge post as much as I did writing it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude... LOST is fucking amazing. Have you ever actually watched the show?

10:06 PM  
Blogger KD said...

I agree with the other commenter, LOST is awesome.
considering you said the whole "time paradox" thing is why you already love star Trek, I think you should give LOST a go, as thats what it is all about.

JJ Abrams is awesome.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Lee "Emperor Wayne" Johnston said...

Hah. I knew the first comments would be about my hatred for that show, even though that wasn't my point. I watched the initial episodes, but it didn't really pull me in. I may try again someday.

4:21 AM  
Blogger Lee "Emperor Wayne" Johnston said...

Who was anonymous?!?!

7:33 PM  

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