Monday, September 21, 2009

Set a course for marriage, engage!

I am not going to lie, I have delved into the marriage idea myself with two girls. For all intensive purposes, I have been engaged. I am not in a relationship right now, why do you ask? You know what its like when you are young and in a relationship with an attractive girl or boy, although by now we're women and men. You think the world is your oyster and nothing can go wrong. Sometime soon the reality will set in that its just not going to work out.

I recently found out that another friend from high school, tenth I believe along this list, has become engaged. The people in my class year are no more than twenty or twenty-one. Some of these people are already married, or have children. None of them have anywhere near a good paying job and most are barely getting by. How are we still affording to do this? Weddings cost money, money that we don't have. Children cost money, money that parents are not willing to help with these days. Most of them have monetal problems of their own that they have to focus on.

I am not disrespecting these people. I just want to say, slow down. Just slow down, we're so early in life. Why are we so eager to start families and get tied down? Marriage is not only an emotional bond. You're legally attaching your name to someone who may have debt, debt that if you willingly sign your name to you may be getting into problems you won't be able to contend with.

Its your choice, I'm just saying my piece. I've grown past the point of only seeing whats in front of you and not the big picture. Be careful. Make sure you're going into this with sensability and guidance.

Never the less, I wish you well friend, and all my other friends that are getting married, have gotten maried and are having children, I wish them all well.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Nothing Says 'Sell Sell Sell' Like A Celebrity Death

I am going to begin by saying that this is in no way related to Michael Jackson's performances, or my feelings about his media image (though it will be touched on, i want to say that i believe many of the allegations against him were an absurd and offensive means to getting money by parents who thought they could exploit a misunderstood man). I also want to say that I respect and admire all the work that he has done over the years. Dangerous (1991) is one of the first CD's I ever owned. I was three and I specifically asked for that CD after seeing a video on whichever channel was shilling out videos back then. He will be deeply missed by many many fans as we have already seen by the following.

Media Attention

Although another also very famous celebrity died hours before Michael, he has certainly been the one to recieve the resolute and fixed media eye in the past day. Likely because of the media attention he has garnered over the past two decades has put him into a most unwanted spotlight. I was born two years before most of these allegations came to light and have been following it in the news whenever it would pop up again (See: 2004).

As long as we respect the wished of his family, I do not see this getting out of hand. Although I expect there will be graverobbers afoot. So laser-trap his grave with claymores Jackson family, that'll teach those fortune seeking rat bastards that the King of Pop is one corpse you don't want to fuck with.

Album Sales

Go and check out the iTunes top albums. I'll wait... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. Six! Six of his albums are on the best seller chart right now. As it says in my screen name, nothing says 'Sell sell sell' like a celebrity death. Ironically this is not the first time I have seen this. When blind guitar legend Jeff Healey died last year I had this one woman come into my store and said she wanted to buy out all the albums that we had of him and sell them so she could stop profiteers. Lady, look up the definition of profiteer. She was an ugly greasy haired fat hobgoblin of a woman and I knew she was lying through her ugly teeth. So I told her we didn't have any. We had plenty. Anyways, its the perfect time to get a Michael Jackson album, especially off the torrents. 2200 seeds. Thats insane. Well the new Star Trek had ten times that, but still thats pretty good.

I'm done now. I'm gonna listen to some Michael Jackson. I think my Dangerous album is still in the basement somewhere.

Rest peacefully King of Pop.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Calamity Wayne: An Anime North Story

Well, for the forth year in a row I am posting on this blog* about Anime North. What can I say again but that I had an excellent time, spent a lot of money, saw a lot of neat cosplays.

Friday night mostly consisted of the beginning of the awesome. We left the hotel around 4:45 to get to the opening of the dealer room. Curtis, Chris and I went to get some grub before heading there, it was pretty good. All through the weekend there was not nearly as many people that were in the restaurants that I thought that would be. After flying around the dealer room for a while we met up with Steve and hung out with him for a bit. Christine and Sam popped in later while Curtis and I were sitting around playing the ol Fallout 3. Met a new friend at the Karaoke on Friday night, spent most of it listening to her comparative analysis of Pokemon, and since I like Pokemon, it was interesting to have such an informed perspective. Anyways, after that I pretty much hit the sack around three AM.

Saturday was pretty darn sweet. Anyway, I made a couple trips to the dealer room and prepped for the Soul Calibur IV Tournament** that Rob, Chris and I had signed up for. Suffice to say I got booted the first round by Chris, who just Cervante'd it up. He did a good job and got into fourth place. I wandered back to the hotel and got my DS to hang out at the Pokeparty. Booooring, but funny at the end a little, they showed some pokemon episodes with drug, booze and sex trade references that couldn't be beaten. Also I went to see the 404's an Anime Comedy Troupe that visits the conventions through the year spreading their amusing rhetoric around. I must admit that I enjoyed this very much as I was still very very intoxicated. However, by the end I was asleep on my friend Eva's shoulder, she was asleep on the person beside her. It was kind of like dominos. Hah. I went back to the hotel room after in a severe amount of pain, heat and headache. Sleep was welcome and it came quickly.

Sunday was just the end of the day. We were the first to get our stuff down to the storage room in the hotel. Got some Timmies, walked around the dealer room for a bit. Got lunch. Spoke to Geneve a couple more times and picked up some of the really good deals of the day. That was really about it for Sunday. Its pretty much a cool down period. I had a good time none the less.

Things I picked up:
-Bioshock (PS3)
-Swat 4 (PC)

-Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force (PS2)
-The Matrix: Path of Neo (PS2)
-11 Stargate Figurines
-10 Pins (Star Trek, Stargate, Random)
-2 Backings for my Wal-Mart badge that are hilarious
-3 Blu-Ray Movies (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, My Best Friend's Girl, Body of Lies)
and so forth

Anime North was amazing. Year Five... I'm cosplaying motherfucker.

* by this blog, I mean this URL, the older posts were lost in the great South Passage collapse
** I was drunk off my ass by this time. Chris said he needed to bring on the pain to beat me, which leads me to believe I might be better at video games while drunk

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Spoiler Trek (Now With 100% More Lens Flare)

So two days ago I saw the new Star Trek film, see? I must admit I was shocked at how much I enjoyed the film. When I first saw the websites utter the word prequel I was scared. When I saw J.J. Abrahms (Creator of the massively shitty Lost and Cloverfield) was directing it I was petrified, but now I can't imagine the day where I sit this film on my DVD shelf (273 movies and counting!).

Here is what I liked:

This was a time travel paradox movie, which already gives me a big thumbs up. I love time travel and love alternate timelines. So this movie appealed to me already.
Secondly, I really enjoyed the acting. Chris Pine did a spectacular Kirk, and I have to cite the scene where he beats the Kobayashi Maru scenario, just non-chalantly sitting there eating an apple while the ship gets hit with torpedo after torpedo... 'Oh wait, enemy shields just disppeared? Oh well fire our torpedos. Good job everyone, pat on the back, lets eat cake.' I laughed hard. If anyone didn't know too, the part about him eating an apple while doing the scenario is a throwback to Star Trek II where in the Genesis Cave, Saavik is speaking to him about his solution to the scenario ,he's eating a apple. He doesn't like to lose... or go hungry. Also the acting of Karl Urban must be brought to the light as his performance as Leonard McCoy was really well done. The inflections did DeForrest Kelley proud. He wore the pants well.
Finally, I must admit the changes to the ship's interior were initially met with skepticism after 15 years of clean engine rooms, but they grew on me. I liked the grungy piping in main engineering, and I liked the darker corridors in the bowels of the ship's shuttlebay.
I also liked the redesign of all the ships and weapons, although the camera angles were so tight and shaky you couldn't tell if anything was effecting an enemie's ship. It was still awesome effects.

Here is what I disliked:

Holy shit. Could you put any more lens flares in each scene? I counted at least 40 or 50 in the first 15 minutes of the film alone. It was the most overuse of an effect I have ever seen.
The bad guy, Nero, was a tool. He seemed to stumble around and talk drunk for most of the film, stopping only to spew chunks of orders all over his followers unsuspecting faces. And his reasoning for his vengeance is pure bullshit. It wasn't Spock's fault the sun exploded and blew up Romulus. It was the fucking sun's fault. Why not, when thrown back in time, go to Romulus and say 'Hey guys. Sun's gonna explode in 2387. Just FYI.' Nah, its cool, I'll just put the parking break on, pop on some re-runs of I Love Lucy and wait 25 years for Spock to show up in his Toyota Jellyfish. Tool.

Well theres my two cents (not adjusted for inflation) on a ten dollar movie. Hope you enjoyed this South Passge post as much as I did writing it.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Its The End Of The World As We Know It

I am not going to say that I have been right a lot. But there is one decision in my life I am going to say that I will never look back on with a shred of doubt, nor a sigh of where my money went. That decision was the one where I went to EB Games and traded in Animal Crossing for Fallout 3.

Best decision ever!

Not only did I get rid of one of the worst games for the DS in my eternal history. Seriously, what the hell are you supposed to do in that game? Nothing? Walk around and talk to the people who say the same damned thing, over and over again? Fuck and no. I want a game that draws me in and my prayers were answered. I'm even writing this during the time my PS3 is updating its system, which immediately after I am going to begin playing Fallout 3!

Fallout 3 is a first person shooter in which you are the protagonist (affectionatly named by a vagrant radio host as '101', even though the computer should be intuitive enough these days to pronounce a simple name like Bill) who wakes up one day after rushing through the first seventeen years of his life to find that his father, played by Liam 'Kick Everyone's Ass' Neeson, has left the Vault, which surprises most and just plain drives everyone else raving mad. Your best childhood friend says you should boot it out into the radioactive wasteland after his ass, which the aptly named 101 is more than happy to abblige. Security doesn't like this option, so you have to shoot your way out of the place that... is trying to save you? Anyways. You get out onto the wasteland after talking to/taunting/murdering your childhood friend's father, the leader of the Vault, and looking out onto the wasteland and seeing vast signs of nothing, you truck it off to find your father.

Since I know many who have not played the game I will not continue with the plot. I am going to begin my discussion on gameplay.

I decided to play this game on Very Easy in the beginning considering your character is thrust out of the Vault pretty much with a crappy pistol and little damage resistant clothing. The first monster I came across was a Mirelurk. BAD FUCKING IDEA. I immediately had my ass handed to me on a platter that I am sure included Mirelurk Cakes and perhaps Iguana on a Stick. However there are many things I would praise in this game.


Are breathtaking. Everything's grungy, dirty, dark and dank. Everything you would expect post-apocalyptia to be. The rendering of some of the monuments in D.C. are amazing. Specific nods to the Capitol Building and Lincoln Memorial which are amazing.


Despite the fact that your character moves like a goddamned turtle, I admire the gameplay. It was well designed, the missions are immersive and drawn-out, and the rewards are much more creative than Oblivion. I am talking about Perks. Perks like Grim Reapers Sprint, which restore all action points if you make a kill in the V.A.T.S system... OH!


Amazing. Point and click where your opponent is going to get his share of bullets, shells, lasers, grenades, missiles and nukes. It's one of the greatest things I have seen. When you follow the bullet to its target is the best. A specific example is when using the Railway Gun and you follow a Railway Spike to the enemy, impaling it's head on the nearby wall. Astounding. Simply astounding.

Voice Acting:

Liam Neeson... Malcolm McDowell... Ron Pearlman. No questions asked.

I must now do what I thought I could never do to this game, point out its downfalls.

No Co-op:

Man oh man, could it do with one. Many different routes through the wasteland and you could meet up at the quest target. Tactical planning and good times.

No Downloadable Content:

Due to a contractual clusterfuck and Microsoft's greedy fingers being ever greedy, there is no downloadable content for the Playstation 3. Bethesda decided to make an agreement with the evil corporation to keep millions of Sony players out of the D.L.C. so I have to miss out on the level cap being raised to 30, Operation: Anchorage, The Pitt and numerous other improvements on gameplay. Fuck Microsoft.

Terrible Music:

The year is 2277. They play music from the 1940's. Apparently in this alternate universe there was no disco, rock-and-roll, country, pop, rap, punk. Just crap. Could they not have tried to license some excellent music? I have a better idea, downloadable content FOR THE PS3 ONLY, that allows you to upload MP3's to a personal radio station in the game. Who else wants to blow people apart with a rocket launcher while listening to Pantera? I know I do. Bono will second that.

That concludes my review of Fallout 3. As Yahtzee said 'you'll play until your eyes fall out... Fallout 3 that is!"

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Lesson In Douchbaggery

So I was at work today and just as my till was opened to count, I recieved a phonecall from a customer. Reminding you I work at Wal-Mart. Here is how the call went. This is shortened but the message gets across, I seriously wish we recorded our calls for training purposes. Cause I would have stole the tape to put this on youtube or something.

"Hi. I bought a PSP two weeks ago and I put it in the dishwash. Can I return it?"
"No, its not covered under warranty. You put it in the dishwasher."
"But it was dirty and I had to clean it, I put my mp3 player in the wash and it works fine."
"You should have bought an LCD cleaner. You put it in the dishwasher. Its not covered because YOU put it in the dishwasher. Its not something that went wrong with the PSP."
"..but it doesn't say that its not water resistant."
"Its electonic equipment. They're two opposing elements. Electricity and water are fatal with eachother."
"Will Sony do anything to help me?"
"I would expect so, but it will cost you money, because its not covered under warranty."
"Can I return it?"
"No. What you did, you put a PSP in the dishwasher. You damaged the PSP. The PSP was not defective, its what you did to it that made it not work."
"but I had to clean it."
"Look, its not covered under warranty. You're not going to be able to return it at all. Sony probably won't help either. Okay?"
"Okay................ alright."
"Alright. Bye."

Oh fuck. I mean come on. You put it in the dishwasher. Jesus H. Christ. I actually had the CSM laughing with me cause she was down there. It was just priceless. Major priceless. I spread that like butter onto everyone and we all had a good laugh at this idiot's expense.

Pfft. Holy shit, I hope this guy comes in so I can give him a piece of my mind. I mean, seriously... seriously??! Haahah. This guy is the ultimate tool.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Star Wars Episode 3.5: The Force Unwiished

I think it is time to write a review for this game. I have been putting it off for a while and it is time the game has gotten the praise it deserves.

To begin, I give this game a 10 because even if it was something along the line of pong, if it had the same compelling story as this game has, it wouldn't matter. It still does not matter. I liked this game. I thought the story was second to none and if it were made into a live-action film would be the greatest plot of Star Wars since Episode 5.5: Shadows of the Empire.

The gameplay, while in the commcerial looking like it would be the best thing ever, is a little repetative on the Wii. Even though it looks like there is an option to kill the AT-ST any way you want, unfortunately you keep crushing it no matter what way you move the remote. Considering the amount of times the on screen prompt appears in the fight (I believe somewhere close to five), no matter what direction you give, the same thing happens in each sequence. Its kind of pitiful.

However, this game still has a lot of charm, and a good bit of romance. It was much better than the sappy and poorly written dialogue between Anakin Skywalker and the Ugly Kid from Stargate.. I mean Padme... no, they're the same person.

I also enjoy the fact that you can play through the game while changing your character skin until the game makes very little sense. Walking in and seeing Shaak-Ti killing herself?! It would confuse Stephen Hawking.

This game rules.