Hey Hey LBJ, How Many Valentines You Get Today?

In case you haven't noticed its the time of the year everyone likes to get fat off of chocolate. Right now my computer is getting fat off of files and I am just plan fat already so we don't need to delve. This is Valentines Day, the one day where you can be blatently happy or blatently miserable. This year, being alone, I have chosen blatently miserable. Here are my current Valentines day plans:

• Block everyone on MSN who will tell me about their valentines
• Block their emails and if they have more than one I'll block them all
• If they get around it I can just delete the email
• Eat everything in sight
• Listen to the following songs
  -I Don't Wanna Be The One - Patricia Conroy
  -When - Patricia Conroy
  -Love Is The Only Soldier - Jann Arden
  -What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
  -What I'd Miss - Lisa Brokop
  -Try Me Again Around Midnight - Lisa Brokop
  -Ain't Enough Roses - Lisa Brokop
  -I Know A Heartache When I See One - Jo Dee Messina
  -I'm Alright - Jo Dee Messina
  -Bring On The Rain - Jo Dee Messina
• Watch the following movies
  -Love Actually
  -The Notebook
  -What Women Want
  -Alex & Emma
  -Serendipity (if I can get a copy by tomorrow)
• Hurt peoples feelings
• Blow up the moon
• Blow up the sun
• Blow up a baloon
• Run because I hate baloons
• Pop baloon
• Wish upon a star
• Blow up that star
• Kill Cupid

I do hate Valentines day. I hate it when I have someone because its another flashy love day to remember. Like an anniversary. What fuck mook came up with that? Lousy Amish. Or maybe it was the PTA... so they would have something to complain about when their kids were coming home with hickies. I submit that it was them.

If you like Valentines, you like communism.. and Stephen Colbert doesn't like communism.