Sunday, February 25, 2007

I Am..

  • glad The Departed won Best Picture.
  • disappointed Forrest Whittaker won Best Actor. .Should've been Will Smith
  • glad Helen Mirren won Best Actress.
  • glad Eddie Murphy didn't win for Dreamgirls. What a stupid premise for a movie
  • disappointed that Jennifer Hudson won for Dreamgirls. Who the hell is she anyway? Did they pick her up off the street? Should've gone to Abigail Breslin for Little Miss Sunshine.
  • glad Martin Scorsese was still alive to win an Oscar for The Departed.
  • glad Little Miss Sunshine won for Best Writing.
  • disappointed that The Illusionist didn't win for Best Achievement in Cinematography
  • glad Dreamgirls didn't win Best Song cause god knows it was nominated three times in the category and got beaten out by my favourite gay activist next to k.d. lang. Thank you Melissa Etheridge.
  • disappointed Dreamgirls won Best Achievement in sound. I thought I should have won for my excellent work booing the movie.
  • glad Pirates of the Carribean 2 won Best Visual Effects because it deserved it.
  • very glad An Inconvenient Truth won Best Documentary because Al Gore deserved it. However I am disappointed that Shut Up and Sing wasn't even nominated because the Dixie Chicks deserved the award too.
  • glad Dreamgirls didn't win any more awards cause everything about it sucked monkey nuts.

I am awesome too.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hey Hey LBJ, How Many Valentines You Get Today?

In case you haven't noticed its the time of the year everyone likes to get fat off of chocolate. Right now my computer is getting fat off of files and I am just plan fat already so we don't need to delve. This is Valentines Day, the one day where you can be blatently happy or blatently miserable. This year, being alone, I have chosen blatently miserable. Here are my current Valentines day plans:
  • Block everyone on MSN who will tell me about their valentines
  • Block their emails and if they have more than one I'll block them all
  • If they get around it I can just delete the email
  • Eat everything in sight
  • Listen to the following songs
    -I Don't Wanna Be The One - Patricia Conroy
    -When - Patricia Conroy
    -Love Is The Only Soldier - Jann Arden
    -What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
    -What I'd Miss - Lisa Brokop
    -Try Me Again Around Midnight - Lisa Brokop
    -Ain't Enough Roses - Lisa Brokop
    -I Know A Heartache When I See One - Jo Dee Messina
    -I'm Alright - Jo Dee Messina
    -Bring On The Rain - Jo Dee Messina
  • Watch the following movies
    -Love Actually
    -The Notebook
    -What Women Want
    -Alex & Emma
    -Serendipity (if I can get a copy by tomorrow)
  • Hurt peoples feelings
  • Blow up the moon
  • Blow up the sun
  • Blow up a baloon
  • Run because I hate baloons
  • Pop baloon
  • Wish upon a star
  • Blow up that star
  • Kill Cupid

I do hate Valentines day. I hate it when I have someone because its another flashy love day to remember. Like an anniversary. What fuck mook came up with that? Lousy Amish. Or maybe it was the PTA... so they would have something to complain about when their kids were coming home with hickies. I submit that it was them.

If you like Valentines, you like communism.. and Stephen Colbert doesn't like communism.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Go To Bhed

E ryja taletat du tu drec ahdena bucd eh Ym Prat. E ryja ryt y bnaddo nuikr faag vumgc. Ed cdyndat uvv fedr yccekhsahdc tia uh ajanotyo yht ec kuehk du aht zicd dra cysa fyo. E ryja ryt du fung yht uh dra faagaht E fyc myda vun dfu uv so crevdc yht E seccat yhudran. Edc mega bubusihtu, E ys kaddehk nicdo.

Dra pek gelgan:

Uh y kuut huda vun drec faag:

Dusudduf hekrd E ys kuehk du namyq yvdan paehk eh luind ymm tyo muhk. Frema uh so fyo rusa E ys kuehk du cdub eh yd dra um F-Y uv M*Synd yht belg ib dra vehym Vehym Vyhdyco dryd ec du pa namaycat vun ryhtramt. E femm ymcu pa ceddehk yd rusa kuehk drnuikr SUJEAC!!! PALYICA E FEMM RYJA VNAA DESAC! Un... un.. Drec ec dra zuouic myteac yht fyohdamsah. E syo lymm so buccepma kenmvneaht yht ycg ran uid vun tehhan. Oac vumgc, E tet cis ib dra luinyka du ycg y kenm uid yht cra cyet oac. Dryhg oui. Ran hysa ec Jejeahha. Cra mega dra Lumpand Nabund. Cu oui ghuf fa'na reddehk ed uvv.

Upzaldejac Bahtehk:
Tnejanc Melahca
Cissan Bmylasahd Yd Myf Vens

kuut tyo.