Monday, November 27, 2006

Waynegazine 2.0

You've been anticipatin'

Here she comes to wreck the day!

Holy shit! Did anyone see the cover of Wayne Empire? I sure fucking did.

So Falls The 2nd Dynasty

Yeah, I blew it with Christina.

So I am now outlining a contingency plan entitled Operation WF-14. Tactical support and a tonne o da money will be needed for this. Donations accepted. VISA and Mastercard.

In other news, some of the best daily show and Colbert Report minutes have happened in the past two weeks. If you were tuning into the Daily Show you may have seen the hilarious bit of Indecision 2044. Today I watched the clip on YouTube of Jonny Stew on Crossfire (pre-cancelation) and he totally made fun of this megadouche, Tucker Carlson who was wearing a bowtie. Jon attacked the bowtie at full power with a line that went something along the lines of "You're.. what? Thirty-five?... and you're wearing a bowtie." Then later used the maximum overdrive "You're just as big a dick on your show as you are on any show". Put'em away!

Now I didn't get anything off the Colbert Report. I got a clip off YouTube. Stephen fakes his taxes. Here are his instructions:
  • Well sharpened No. 2 pencils
  • NutBran drink
  • Name and address: "Name and address? I like to put a joke name down like Ivana Humpya and I.P. Freely or Phil McCracken. The I.R.S. guys just love it. It brightens up their day and gets them on your side.
  • Age: "I put down seventeen. That makes me a minor, can't be tried as an adult. Okay? Use that noodle"
  • Dependance: "This lowers your taxes so I put down 6 wives and 21 Children"
  • Income: "I put five million dollars. That shows them I'm a heavyweight and they know not to screw with me"
  • Signature: "Then at the bottom here where it says sign here? I don't. Thats just going to come back and bite you in the ass."
  • There, taxes done

Hehe, typso

New Wayne Empire magazine coming soon...

Dreamcard Time

Over the past bit I have been getting into creating dreamcards based on Star Trek CCG's.... Second Edition *AH!* and I know I have been saying I really do not like it but I am more comfortable with it now. So I have decided on the following to be in my set of dream cards

First off there is the obvious

·Wayne, Emperor
Wayne Empire Cost 4
Human (Cmd)(Fu)
·2 Anthropology ·Leadership ·Security
Commander: U.S.S. Wayne. Dissident.
Order - if a (Wyn) Medical personnel is facing a dilemma requiring Cunning >20 and Medical, this peronnel is attributes +2 and gains 3 Medical
Card Lore: Emperor of the Wayne Empire after Temporal Scission in 2381. Met Federation President Injal Kovat before initial invasion of Federation Territory. Commands a massive warship.
Integrity: 7 Cunning: 7 Strength: 9

Chris Nagy, Fleet Commander
Wayne Empire, Cost 3
Human (Cmd)
·2 Anthropology ·2 Leadership
Commander: Home One
If you just began an engagement with this personnel aboard the Home One, both personnel and ship are attributes +2
Integrity: 6 Cunning: 8 Strength: 9

Cullen Jackson, General
MacArthur Confederacy, Cost 3
Human (Cmd)
·Archaeology ·Geology ·Leadership ·Programming
Commander: The Imperial Guard
Order - This personnel is attributes -1 for each (Earth) personnel in play (up to -3). This personnel is attributes +2 for each (Wyn) personnel in play (up to +4)
Integrity: 7 Cunning: 8 Strength: 7

Hehe, more to come. Some have been removed due to recent changes

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

At An Empass

So I am sitting here trying to figure out which tattto I am going to get when Chris, Sidney, Nina and I go down to London this break. I have narrowed it down to very similar items and I would like some feedback. The first item is the past Terran Empire Emblem first introduced in Enterprise episode "In A Mirror Darkly pt. 1"

The second symbol is the longer sworded Terran Empire Emblem first introduced in the Original Series episode "Mirror Mirror".

Personally I think the second one is pretty typso so I would like your feedback. Just note the differences and report to me on the triple. Not the tribble.

Emperor Wayne

Tip of the Hat to Wikipedia

I was going to look up something on Wikipedia this morning and I found something cool.

Monday, November 20, 2006

New Ban Arrrr!

Check it out at the bottom of the screen. I think its wicked for my first try.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Awesome to the Tri-Maxorforce!

Thats right... I went there.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Jesus Hubert Christ!

I am all for freedom of speech unless its very very small and truly annoying. For the past two days I try to nap on the bus in the morning and I keep getting annoyed by this middle-aged black woman who seems to sit near me (probably cause she heard me mutter shut up, shut the fuck up and god damnit when she did the following yesterday) and sing Psalm 64 over and fucking over until I reach the college. There are so many times I can hear

"Silver and gold Silver and gold I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold No fame or fortune Nor riches untold I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold"

before I want to kill her. That number is at least .02. I just want to walk over and even though I am a believer in the Jesus, I just want to go up to her and say. "Can you please stop singing Psalm 64 over and over. Its truly annoying.". Or I could go with the traditional "One two, shut the fuck up". Or just "Can you close your piehole". Or I could fight religion against religion and say "You do know your in a bus full of muslims right?". There were at least three beside her when she was singin-a to the lord-a.

Like I can understand muttering it once, because religion is cool, but I do not want to hear silver and gold, silver and gold repeatedly before I want to take a plasma torch to my ears. I swore I counted her singing it at least 120 times between the Bus Stop at Shopper's World and Sheridan College. That is a 10 minute trip. I would rather die than be put through that. Plus I am trying to fucking sleep! Shes interupting my sleep! People who do that ruin my day... and she ruined it 120 times.

That damn Psalm is stuck in my head. Solution? Assasination.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Wizard of Oz (2009)

So here are Bono and I chatting. I told him I didn't like the movie the Wizard of Oz so we got into a discussion about a teen sex drama recreation with the same title.

So we have a rough cast:
Dorothy: Bonnie Piesse
The Tin Man: Ahmed Best
The Scarecrow: Sam Huntington
The Wicked Witch of the West: Kallie Flynn Childress
The Wizard of Oz: Christopher Walken
The Black and White Wizard: Stephen Colbert
The Good Witch of the North: Eva Mendes
All Munchkins: Verne Troyer
Aunty Em: Joan Rivers (barf)
Uncle Jerkoff.. Henry: The Ghost of Alec Guiness

Alright so we have a little bit of a plot so far. The plot is that Dorothy, your aloof girl who has boys all around her is competed for by the Scarecrow, who is the geeky guy and the hot, black, wise cracking Tin Man. All the meanwhile the Scarecrow is being joned after by the fat misunderstood Wicked Witch of the West. So while the film progresses, several advances are made to get Dorothy's ruby knee high lacheses boots which will give her the power to stomp ass and make Scarecrow hers. On their way to see the Wizard of Oz they befriend the Wizard's predecessor the Black and White Wizard who joins them on their journey in search of the one thing he's missing in his life.. truthiness. The Tin Man's awesome blackocity makes for the best film this century while he tries to pimp his way into Dorothy's pants. Scarecrow, being Dorothy's true friend uses his skills poorly to make her realise he's the man for her. The Wizard tells Dorothy that even Tin Man's dong may be huge, she could never forgive herself for not being with the Scarecrow. The Black and White Wizard learns the secret of truthiness and turns into Stephen Colbert, the Wizard of Truthiness. Traveling to the South he becomes the second Wizard who governs the mysterious land of America.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Alert: Condition Wayne

Well as you may know this morning at 1:10 am EST I accidently deleted South Passage. The foremost leader in the Wayne Empire Communications Network. I was trying to delete a prototype blog that I didn't want. I did delete that blog and then thought I hadn't, I was in South Passage and pressed delete blog. It wasn't five seconds later when I looked at the Dashboard and realised "Oh crap I just deleted my blog" Then I prompty followed with "FUCK!"

So I am here now to vow to you that this new South Passage, built on ground zero of South Passage's destruction on November 11 (thats kinda freaky), will be new and improved with more Wayne Empire Magazines and lots more updates on Stephen Colbert, Bono and Clyde.

I may even let someone else write on this thingy... who knows.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Oh Shit!!!

I accidently pressed delete blog. Welcome to the new South Passage, a place to express your true feelings for me. I promise to attempt to recreate some of the updates.