Tuesday, April 08, 2008


Well its Olympic season again, and what is Olympic season without the synonymous protests? Nothing, thats what I tell you. I have been entertained by this so far, people, they put out the torch. THE FUCKING OLYMPIC TORCH. Thats like asking Zeus to put down his lightning bolts, or telling Michael Jackson to not touch his crotch. It is not possible.

What I just had a good larf about was that the protests are because China has been an occupational hazard (pardon the pun) for the better part of half a century. In fact, that also includes more of another century. Whats funnier is, its the Olympics. Guess who presided over the first Olympics. If you guessed murderous war criminal and professional Jazz Tap artist Adolf Hitler, you couldn't be more wrong. Hitler was never a professional Jazz Tap artist. He preferred to line dance.. on a pile of shreded human rights article.. while making love to Eva Braun.. who was a man. What I am trying to get at is, if you really are worried about human rights and the rights of these Tibetans, you should sell the Olympics and all subsequent royalties and stuff to the Jewish faith. I happen to have Moses on speed dial. He owed me a few favors after that whole forgetting to give me the adress of the death camps so the Wayne Empire could go in and eliminate the Nazi's debocle. Biggest fireworks show in history... and it never happened. Oh and who complained when the Olympics were held in the United States, although my ally, they are a bloddthirsty one at that and are singlehandedly responsible for every major war between 1776 and the present day. I love those guys. But no, no no no, not a single innocent tear shed for the native americans... cept for Chief Teary Eyes, who is seen in every major hollywood production sheding a tear at something.

By the way folks, for those who didn't know, the next Summer Olympics will be held in the Wayne Empire, I expect the following countries to protest:
  • Space Rome

They really hate me.

In short. If you think Hu "the fuck do those protesters think they are" Jintao is going to relent just because you're ruining a tradition created by the root of all evil? You may be correct. Tune in for more news on WNN on "Got'em by the Balls" with Chris Nagy. Winner of the 2008 Peabody award for best fictional news program from a fictional country in a fictional universe. Thats how good it is.

Goodnight everybody.