Tuesday, December 11, 2007

This little piggy went Wii, Wii, Wii, all the way home!

Hahahaha, aaaaaaaaaaah hahahahahaha, roflmmfaolcigawaydty. Pffttt... pft... hah.. pft... wooooo. Oh I am sorry I had to get that out. For those who are wondering it means roll on floor laughing my mother fucking ass off laughing cause I got a Wii and you didn't this year.

Well what did you expect ladies? Did you expect they would be like a million Excaliburs and only those who really needed them would be able to get them by pulling them off the shelves? Man are you damn wrong. Nintendo forecasted the inability to find the Wii in November and December and me being me I know we had no shortage of them during the full year... but wait! You're stupid! You don't understand a little something I believe it was in the Wayne Empire copy of the bible and it went something like this. Waynicus 10:10: "And god came down from the U.S.S. Wayne and bestowed upon the consumers, the clarity of supply and demand." and later from the New Testiclemint Bonoclius 190:1010(1) "And god saw what the people did, they ignored his decree, so Mighty God said 'There will be no more Wii'". So you see, the Wii being impossible to find is because it is an act of God.

Speaking of which, why do so many people want this game? The top five reasons are

1. This system does not need a crane to be moved.

Compared to the size of the XBox 360 and the PS3, the Wii is the size of a tick and is the only system that has not caused a back related injury to pick up. It is less than 30 cm tall and is arguably two inches thick. No one believes my analogies when talking about comparable size? Behold:

Microsoft and Sony are overcompensating

2. Its the only system thats good for kids.

I'm so right too. The last ten XBox 360 games released were rated M and since the PS3 is pretty much the same system it goes double for it. The Wii is a family system with less than ten percent of the games rated M. In fact, I've seen two, both being Resident Evil games and both not being that bad.

3. Its actually a good work out.

I remember the first time I played the Wii, it was a day after Bono got one (THANKS TO MII) and I was playing it with the Bonochromatic and I was actually hurting for the next two days due to the intense physical work out that was given to me when playing. Seriously, I cannot wait for Wii Fitness to be released. I will be toned, ripped, sync'd and transfered...into what I can only assume is a X-Men type mutant.

4. They're bringing back games that are similar to duck hunt.

Who doesn't love that game that they call duck hunt? I mean you're shooting ducks. Holy ball! Two balls in fact. I mean Links Crossbow Training is the shit, uber shit even. I cannot get enough of that game even though every time I play it I pretty much get my ass kicked by Bonopololy. Damn me not being good at things. That is not the only game that is coming out for this. I mean they have several games like Carnival Game and Wii Play that have shooting galleries. Yes yes, you can also shoot ducks. I love those games. Guns are fun. Speaking of guns you must have seen the Wii Zapper. I have one. It is so awesome.

5. Star Trek Conquest

Reason enough.

I rest my case.