Emperor Vayne

My bounty:

• Season One of Angel
• Season Two of Angel
• Season Three of Angel
• Season Two of Buffy
• Season Six of Star Trek: The Next Generation
• Die Hard 2
• Die Hard... WITH A VENGENCE!
• The Day After Tomorrow (no relation to two days from now)
• War of the Worlds
• The Avengers
• Pulse
• Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
• Tim McGraw: Greatest Hits
• Tim McGraw: Greatest Hits 2 (bet ya didn't see that comin')
• Alan Jackson: Like Red on a Rose

and I have to make its own section for this

• NEW LEATHER JACKET

The Twelfth Day Of Waynemas

On the Twelfth day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Twelve Hobos Bummin'
Eleven snipers sniping
Ten Hutts-a-sleeping
Nine Clydes-a-scornin'
Eight Waynes-a-grinning
Seven Colbert's Winning
Six Broken Laptops
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two Girls In Love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

Merry Fucking Waynemas!

One Final Post Before The Big Day

I know it has been a long time since I have written an angry angry post. Hanger bay grabass, here we come!

Every year on December 24th, TBS plays 24 hours of this rancid dog meat movie "A Christmas Story". Now I am no expert on this film because I can't watch that ugly kid's face for more than .11 seconds.. and even that is a stretch for an Emperor like me. Look at him, other than a pink nightmare like the quote in the film. This kid's shiteating grin makes me want to vomit in terror, then vomit at myself for vomitting in terror. He is a nightmare.

I have watched the trailer on TBS over and over because other than this terrible film, this channel's programming is of top notch quality. I just do not get how this film could have such a following. Its about some ugly kid who wants an air rifle for Christmas and everyone telling him he'll shoot his eye out. I can smell the Emmy nominations already. Best Portrayal of Ugly In A Film oh and we can't forget Biggest Waste of Film.

I have some suggestions for TBS for replacing 24 hours of this shit:

• 24 Hours of The Colbert Report (No commercial interruption)
• 24 Hours of Nation Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (No censoring)
• 24 Hours of Star Wars
• 24 Hours of Emperor Wayne's 2006 In Wayneview
• 24 Hours of Falling Down
• 24 Hours of Family Guy
• 24 Hours of The Daily Show

I rest my case...

The Eleventh Day Of Waynemas

On the Eleventh day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Eleven snipers sniping
Ten Hutts-a-sleeping
Nine Clydes-a-scornin'
Eight Waynes-a-grinning
Seven Colbert's Winning
Six Broken Laptops
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two Girls In Love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The Tenth Day Of Waynemas

On the Tenth day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Ten Hutts-a-sleeping
Nine Clydes-a-scornin'
Eight Waynes-a-grinning
Seven Colbert's Winning
Six Broken Laptops
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two Girls In Love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The Ninth Day Of Waynemas

On the ninth day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Nine Clydes-a-scornin'
Eight Waynes-a-grinning
Seven Colbert's Winning
Six Broken Laptops
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two Girls In Love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The Eighth Day Of Waynemas

On the eighth day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Eight Waynes-a-grinning
Seven Colbert's Winning
Six Broken Laptops
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two Girls In Love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The Seventh Day Of Waynemas

On the seventh day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Seven Colbert's Winning
Six Broken Laptops
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two Girls In Love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The Sixth Day Of Waynemas

On the sixth day of Waynemas the empire gave to me
Six Broken Laptops
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two Girls In Love
And A Copy Of Soul Cal III

The Fifth day of Waynemas

On the fifth day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Five Gnomish Zings
Four Star Trek Nerds
Three Crazed Lens
Two girls in love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The Fourth Day Of Waynemas

On the fourth day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Four Star Trek nerds
Three crazed Lens
Two girls in love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The Third Day Of Waynemas

On the third day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me
Three crazed Lens
Two girls in love
and a copy of Soul Calibur III

The Second Day Of Waynemas

On the second day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me...
Two girls in love
and a copy of Soul Cal III

The First Day Of Waynemas

On the first day of Waynemas the Empire gave to me, a copy of Soul Cal III

WTF?

So stressed. Girlfriend left me, second time in a month. I don't know why this is happening to me. I was making a good start again in her trust for me and she still loves me, but she doesn't want to be with me, so I guess I am doomed to walk the Earth alone...

I don't want to fall in love again. I keep getting hurt. Even an Emperor has to cry.